Sissies Out, Masculinity In

What is a sissy? Visions of boys playing flute or wearing an apron and making cheesecake may rush to mind. Maybe a picture of the Squire from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales with "clothes so flowery he looks like a meadow" is painted in the mind's eye. Painted toenails, girlie jeans, and shaven legs may crowd into the scene. Admittedly, I'd be tempted to throw the "s-word" at any or all of the above. But this isn't exactly what I mean.
First, let's look at the way men are made. Some are large, some are small. Some are strong, some are weak. Some are fast, some are slow. Some can see, some are blind. Some are crippled. Some are attractive, some are ugly (there is no I in ugly, but there is a u--just thought I'd point that out). If we go about defining masculinity in terms that eliminate some men from the moment of their conception, it seems clear that we've done violence to the concept as it is presented to us in nature. What's left, then? If all men may potentially be rightly masculine, then how can we define masculinity without taking down the "no sissies allowed" sign?
It seems that the only leftovers when we eliminate that which is strictly biological and genetic are the drives of the soul. We'll take a few of these in turn--all implications from Genesis 1ff.

1. The drive to make things better. God put the man in the garden and he was told to cultivate it. This desire has not evaporated from the masculine soul. Men should be interested in making things better than they are--systems, people, cars, grills, bands, churches, governments--all things are natural and right objects of the ingenuity of men. That doesn't mean women never have this inclination. It just means that men certainly should. I can't fix my car (which messes up a lot). I can barely fix my hair (which messes up more). I do have a passionate drive to fix things, though. It'll look a little different for every guy, but it should be there.

2. The drive to work. Enough said. Get a job. If you are unable to work, you will be the first to agree that this drive is central to your masculinity. Know that it is the drive, not the faculty to carry it, out that makes you fully masculine. For you lazy suckers, You're not too good to flip burgers and you're not too pretty to dig ditches. Get a job.

3. The drive to relate rightly with women. Masculinity is meaningless without femininity. Men are made to relate with women--even men who will be single for their entire lives. There's been enough written on this topic. I will say that the man who beats his wife is just as surely a sissy as the man who is henpecked. I'd bet the abusive scumbag has a glass jaw and I'd love to find out. These are extremes, though. Daniel Montgomery put it very simply in a recent sermon. He challenged men to treat women honorably--honorable means and honorable ends. We would all do well to heed this word.

There's much more. However, I'd like to close with a word on what to do with sissies while they still exist. First of all, we all have to recognize that whether we like it or not, there is a sissy alive inside us. It's called the flesh. Emasculation (however physically painful it could be if taken too literally) is much easier than masculinity. When we realize the wrong that we're tempted to do and the shortcuts we're tempted to take, we will be slow to throw stones. We have to love the sissy and hate the sissy-ness. Should sissies be welcome in church? Yes. Should sissies be welcome to remain sissies? No. So we have to welcome sissies just like we welcome drunks and whores and racists and liars and murderers and thieves--with the word of truth that brings the grace of conviction and healing and transformation: the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I hate the sissy inclinations of the masculine soul as much as the next guy. But I can guarantee you (as I can guarantee myself) if you'll look at your own life through the lens of God's word, you'll see you ain't no better. So let's seek to grow together into the men God has called us to be, admitting where we've gone wrong and seeking to have Christ formed in us as long as we are here on this earth together.